


To All The Boys MJ’s Loved Before

by notobsessedjustobservant



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, hold my wig Tomdaya are in London together shooting smffh, inspo from To All the Boys I've Ever Loved Before, pls don't sue me Jenny Han, the most cliche yet best trope theme, we eating good sisters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-05-29 13:30:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15074186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notobsessedjustobservant/pseuds/notobsessedjustobservant
Summary: Peter brings out his hand and MJ looks at it weirdly. "Are you ready to be Peter Parker's fake girlfriend?".She shakes the hand although she wasn't ready. "The better question is; are you ready to be Michelle Jone's fake boyfriend?".And, to think, all of this was because of the letters MJ made to all the boys she's loved before.





	1. The Letters

**Harry Osborn**

Dear Harry,

We’ve known each other since we were babies. Seriously. As in there’s a picture of us naked as babies running around my backyard somewhere in my house.

We have so many memories. Memories of going to kindergarten together. Memories of us going to the Hamptons together almost every spring break. Memories of staying over at each other’s house although we were only a block away from each other. 

Memories of the time I first got my period while we went on a school field trip to the Statue of Liberty and you asked all the nearby ladies for a pad till one begrudgingly gave you one. I think I started loving you when that happened because you kept it a secret and no one knew. Only us two knew. 

You were my first hero.

I always wondered why you stayed friends with me. You’ve been popular since preschool and I haven’t. It’s not a bad thing. I like things the way they are. 

Even in elementary, it was already clear that you were probably going to be the more popular of us two. You tried out for guy’s basketball team while I tried out for Battle of the Books team and you became the class clown while I became the class book worm. It sounds bad when I say it like that but I genuinely had no defining feature in elementary other than finishing the Harry Potter series in second grade. I was going to be the considered the class loser till you beat up Flash for adding me to that poll.

You always protected me. I heard what some mean kids would say about me, how I was weird or something mean about reading books. Honestly, that’s stupid and it didn’t hurt my feeling but, without fail, you always defended me. Thank you for that.

Those feelings ever since you became my hero at the Statue of Liberty grew till I realized that you were my first dose of puppy love. I wanted you to be my first kiss and I wanted to be your first kiss. I wanted to be your girlfriend and you my boyfriend and for us to be the power couple of seventh grade. And when I want something, I become determined. This time, I was determined that the boy I loved would love me back too. 

Unfortunately for me, that didn’t happen. Your growth spurt came midway sixth grade and suddenly I wasn’t the only one who saw you as who you’ve always been. 

I didn’t want to go to that stupid sixth grade graduation party Flash was having, but you made me and you know I’m a sucker for any bit of your persuasion. I think I unconsciously knew something bad would happen at that party. The bad part, in my opinion, was definitely catching Madeleine and you in seven minutes of heaven action, or whatever you consider that weird lip attaching thing you two were doing, while I was trying to help Ned find his fedora. I went home, feigning period cramps, and you let me go home without you. It stung but it shouldn’t have. You were busy. What else should I have expected?

I’m sorry that I spaced myself away from you for the rest of seventh grade. I was grateful it was the summer before we went into middle school because I could convince my mom to send me off somewhere or to let me mope at my room reading infinite amounts of romance novels with an excuse to you saying I felt ill. Since you’re you, you came over and brought me a get well basket that ended up not given after you realized I was blatantly ignoring you by watching a marathon of Cupcake Wars. We got into an argument till we resolved it the next week when you ambushed me at Barnes and Nobles. Still, things didn’t feel the same.

I woke up ten minutes earlier each day so I could walk to school without you and I told you I couldn’t make it to our Barnes and Nobles dates on Sunday afternoons because I joined church choir. I know, the biggest lie ever. I actually hid at a Starbucks during those times because you’re allergic to coffee and generic brands. Sorry.

We slowly stopped being friends, after your resistance waned off of course. After not waving back to you in the hallways and not responding to your messages, you got the hint and you moved with your crowd and I stayed with mine. 

When I look back at these moments, I feel so sad for younger me. I should have just told you and not ignored you. I wish I did. It would’ve been easier than sitting at the kids table together in silence during all the barbecues or luncheons celebrating Oscorp. You were so close yet it felt like you were miles away.

I am grateful for it though. I became good friends with Ned during that time. You were my only friend and I only started looking at others as potential companions till our fallout happened. I think I’ll be friends with him for a good time. He’s nice and you guys get along well.

On the last day of seventh grade, you told me eighth grade would be your last year being at the same school as me because you were being forced to go to a prep school in Maine. I cried and we hugged for the first time in months. I wrote an extremely passive aggressive leter to your mother and father and they came over to tell me the truth. In hindsight, that lie literally shows how much you suck as a human being, but it also showed how much I missed and wanted you back.

After all the silent treatments and finally forgiving you for lying about you leaving and me apologizing for acting “weird”, I am glad to say that we’re friends. Forever. I can’t say the feelings have completely gone away because they haven’t. I think they’ll stay here, in my heart, for the long haul. 

Forever and always,  
MJ

  


**John Jameson**

Dear Colonel Jupiter (aka Camp KSC’s best and future astronaut),

You are dreamy. I’ve never used dreamy to describe anyone. It seems cliché and unrealistic because dreamy doesn’t really mean anything. 

Dreamy, in my book, is you because you’re an actual dream man. Yes, I used man because you were very adamant in proclaiming your manliness at the tender age of eleven. 

You’re smart. You’re a leader. You’re confident. You’re so sure in yourself that I became sure in you. You’re charismatic. You’re sweet. You’re the guy who likes to play football but didn’t mind sitting with me at the snack area and just talking about how eighth grade would be. 

The first day at camp when all of us registered, it was obvious that we were polar opposites. You were excited to be at the Camp Kennedy Space Center (Summer) to immerse yourself in everything astronaut related, yet my parents took my obsession with Vsauce’s YouTube videos on space, all the Apollo movies, and various space novels as a hint towards my burgeoning career in space engineering. It also didn’t hurt that one of my grandmothers is the best friend of Katherine Johnson.

All campers were grouped into color teams and we both got put on the green team. Everyone liked you and no one knew of me until I said a funny one-liner that even made your head turn to my direction and smile. 

And that look, that one look with your cheeky grin and dimples and your slightly crooked nose (from what you would later say due to football camp) scrunched, I became another girl added as a victim to your charm. So, obviously, I scowled.

Our first task was a group activity determining how well we, a group of fifteen eleven year old kids, could do on Mission Control. I hate to say it and it pains me to admit it, but we worked so well because you’re a leader. A good one. You were able to tell Cesar to lift that lever and tell Jazmyne to yank that or help someone. You sound bossy when I write of you but I promise you didn’t appear so in real life, to me at least. Maybe to Jackson but that’s a different story. 

Everyone followed your command and couldn’t help it. I tried to resist, obviously, because my parents didn’t pay for me to go to a camp and get lead by the patriarchy, but when I started messing up the mission, I realized I probably should listen to your suggestions. And, they were right and helpful. 

I went to my bed angry that night. I would make the next day my day and make sure I was pilot, which I did get. Our mission was bound to be a failure and it did so you were reinstated pilot after lunch. You sucked because I made lots of snarky comments that made the other kids laugh too. 

You confronted me while I was eating my ravioli during dinner as to why I didn’t like you. You said it so irritably, like the idea that anyone not liking you wasn’t possible, and I knew I couldn’t like you. I wouldn’t allow myself. I said it was because you were too bossy and instead of being a normal boy and getting defensive, you said, “Really?” and asked how you could fix that. Not to be weird, but that was seriously the most attractive thing ever. We became friends and co-pilots after that.

I’ll never forget sneaking out of our individual cabins and looking around the center at night before almost getting caught by the guard. You had to press onto me so that we wouldn’t be seen and I don’t think I’ve ever held my breathe that long. Not even when we did the underwater activity.

The last day at camp with everyone exchanging numbers and addresses saying to write to each other, I’ll admit to shedding one tear at the prospect of leaving. 

Camp was so perfect and fun and real life was messy and filled with friend drama. We stayed in contact via Messenger for the rest of the summer, but that slowly and sadly died out. 

While my love for you may have been really short and fleeting, I want to say thank you for being the best co-pilot I’ve ever known. You weren’t able to convince me to pursue any career in the space area, but I’m happy I got to experience camp with you.

Also, I look forward to meeting up in Chicago over winter break. I bet you’re as handsome when you’re sweaty and hot as when you’re freezing. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were the same shade as red. 

P.S. Thanks for being my fake boyfriend for a good week to make one of my friend’s hopefully jealous. It was fake but it felt kind of real. 

Yours truly,  
MJ

  


**Eugene “Flash” Thompson**

Dear Eugene (or more commonly and douchely known as “Flash”),

You suck. Point, blank, and simple. You genuinely do.

You have stupid humor, if that’s what we sugar coat bullying, and your color schemes for your outfits are nauseating. Seriously. Satin lavender tops shouldn’t be worn with any cargo bottoms ever.

This letter will be one of my shortest of all because what I felt, this strong feeling, lasted only a week and was truly painful. 

You are Flash Thompson, my enemy since first grade. I shouldn’t be feeling anything for you. I blame it on being in eighth grade, no longer having my mind preoccupied by someone else, and the homework load being too easy. 

It was the week that we both went upstate for a science fair since Peter and I tied for first place and you got runner up. Peter got sick and they wanted two people to go so you went with me. 

I don’t know exactly how or why it happened. One moment we were bickering over who gets to pick the movie we could watch in the van and the next moment we were talking about our problems.

I’m not going to repeat them here, you made me swear to never repeat anything that was said, but I saw you in a different light. You didn’t seem as assholey at that moment.

The next day you were back to being a jackass and I was back to being annoyed at you. The whole time we were at the school to take pictures for the school website, we were stomping on each other’s shoes or pulling each other’s hair. You even lightly pushed me and made me fall because you knew I sucked wearing heels. I really thought I hated you. 

That night, I had a dream. No, it wasn’t a MLK kind of dream. It was more of a, sorry for my impending words, nostalgic dream. I can’t remember all of it and I’m pretty sure I did that on purpose, but in that dream we were just talking. Like how we used to when you, Harry, and I were best friends in fifth grade. It was nice.

I remember when we stopped being best friends. It was sixth grade because you wouldn’t stop teasing me in front of my crush, who wasn’t Harry and actually Marcos you dimwit. I was so mad at you that I told you to leave me alone and stop talking to me. You followed that order pretty quickly. 

I realized that boys mostly tease girls because they like them themselves. It’s a super kindergarten move but you’re immature enough to be like that. 

I realized you’ve liked me all this time when I realized you were jealous I was talking to some random guy about the book he was reading. Of course, you showed your jealousy by saying he’s weird and that I’m weird. In all honesty, you’re weird.

I confronted you on it when we got back to school and we were waiting for our rides. You were shocked I asked you if you liked me, but I was more shocked that you actually said yes. 

It was quiet and your mom rolled up at that exact moment and my mom rolled up right afterwards. You gave me an awkward high-five and drove away. 

I went home that night thinking maybe I liked you too. So, I did. I liked you for a good week. 

That, of course, ran its course and is over by now. That whole week we came back I saw you in a different light. You treated me nicer. We made some jokes. I thought, “Maybe he’s not a total prick. Maybe he’s just misunderstood.” I should’ve realized you’re not Mr. Darcy and that you just are an actual prick.

My adoration sourly ended when I heard your friend trash talking me and you saying, “Haha, you right, dude.” Nice. Very charming.

I talked to you after I stopped you from picking up your history project and you looked guilty but it wasn’t enough. You were actually embarrassed to like me. I don’t know which of us was embarrassed more. We didn’t talk for a while and I may have said some snarky things to you when I saw you in the halls but we went back to normal by summer school Spanish one. By normal, I mean trash talk and sarcastic one liners.

Anyway, my love rang short, but true, for you. I hope that you find yourself able to defend you and whomever you may love in the future. Get the balls. Don’t be embarrassed. 

Is this letter written slightly passive aggressively? Maybe. All I know is that I really did like you for a full seven day period. I’m pretty sure I would’ve made a move if I didn’t over hear you at the lunch line.

Unapologetically,  
MJ

  


**Ned Leeds**

Dear Loser #1 (or commonly known as “Ned”),

Never, ever, did I think I would make one of these letters for you. You’re my best friend. My confidant. My co-navigator of high school.

We became close during seventh grade and that went away when the new kid, Peter, came in and I went back to being Harry’s best friend till he actually went to a boarding school and I went back to being a part of your friend group.

It was weird when I first joined you. I was so used to being on my own and reading my books. You scared me just a bit when you seemed to be genuinely interested in who I actually was and whether I liked Star Wars or not. 

Now that I think of it, you are a really great friend. You took me in, no questions. Defended me, not that I couldn’t defend myself, against Flash. You made me feel like I had someone else to rely on after Harry and I’s falling out and when he later left. Thank you for that. 

I think I started realizing I like you when you asked to come with me to help Bernie Sanders' campaign. We spent the day going door to door and putting up signs and posters in the hot sun, yet you never complained once. You even gave me a piggy back ride back to the subway. Then again, that was when we were only .1 miles away from the subway but I wasn’t counting. It felt nice to have someone do something for me without me asking or begging. 

Although, maybe I started liking you when our daily routines kind of converged together. We’d walk to school together on some days and I’d treat you to a sandwich at the bodega once and a while. This was never planned, but we both mutually knew.

The homecoming dance came during quarter one and everyone, even lame-o Peter, had a date. I still an't believe he got Liz to go with him. You two droll after her everyday and she's so out of both of you two dweebs leagues. You wanted to go, I could tell, and I didn’t have anything to do that day so I offered we go together. 

A little bit of a big mistake. Not saying you made it horrible, more like you made it too fun, if that makes sense. You got me punch. You were courteous and let my mom take awkward photos of us. We had dinner at that thai place and made fun of awkward dates and the yiking circle in the middle.

It may not have shown, but it meant a lot to go to Hoco for me. It’s silly, but every girl wants to go out and feel different for once and, that night, I did feel different. A good different. 

You properly twerked your heart out when they played Jolene and I’ve never seen anyone be so unhappy to hear the Cupid Shuffle till we used it to Cupid Shuffle our way to the punch bowl again. 

That night was pure fun. You made it fun for me. I’m so grateful, even though I make fun of you everyday and you’ll never hear me actually say this out loud.

I make these letters to a boy that I’ve ever loved. While I didn’t love you like that, I loved purely and simply as a friend. And, it was strong at Homecoming and it is strong now. Love doesn’t have to be something romantic. It can be something as necessary as friendship. Thank you for being one of my first friend loves.

Again, just to repeat, I’ll never tell you this in person. Reputation of being cold hearted and etc. to maintain, you know?

Anyway, I helped you get your first date with Betty Brant. You’re welcome dumbass. She really likes you and you really like her and I love you very much, so I did what any wing woman would do and hooked you two up. 

I really would do anything for you just to see you happy always. Obviously, this excludes sexual favors because I’m not that friendly, but I know you know that already. 

Thanks for being my best friend and showing me a different type of love.

Yours sincerely,  
MJ

  


**Peter Parker**

Dear Loser #2 (or more commonly known by me as PP), 

First of all, your name is Peter Parker and, unlike everyone (aka Flash Thompson) else in the grade, I won’t call you penis Parker. That’s too weird. I get an image of a penis instead of a face on your body and it’s not cute.

Interestingly, you are cute. Cute seems synonymous to you. You’re sweet. You’re kind. You’re thoughtful. You can be soft and strong. You are a mix of adjectives that I cannot list because I don’t have the time. 

You are the kid who would erase homophobic sayings to Ashley on her locker. You are the kid who would defend someone bullied and never stoop to a bully’s level. And, you get bullied a lot so it’s easy to say you have good character. You’re the kid who would give his seat away to a rude old man on the subway.

You are truly and unapologetically you. A nerd, a dweeb, a chemist in the making, a Star Wars fanatic, and pure goodness wrapped into one sophomore teeny-bopper boy body.

I wonder if you knew I would start feeling whatever this is that I do feel for you when we first made eye contact during your first day freshman year at Midtown. You weren’t shy, but you weren’t going out of your way to make friends. You seemed approachable and you were approachable. I still can’t believe you started hanging out with Flash first.

We had two classes together- English and gym. I think you didn’t notice we had those two together. But, maybe you did. You notice everything. Even when I dyed a streak of my hair purple and my mom didn’t notice, you did. 

On the first day of school, we both got the papers assigned to certain students to join Acadec in first period. I was about to leave by myself till I saw you had one too and I purposely slowed down just in case you wanted to walk with me. You did.

I heard, “Hey, MJ. Wait up.” That was all it took for me to be under your charm. Not much to be honest but it really worked. Your disheveled hair and dorky sweater and that shy smile you had. I was a goner.

Now that I look back at that day, I realize you weren’t exactly as perfect as I thought you were. You wore a blue flannel underneath a green sweater and had the geekiest glasses on. Now, I’m not the fashion police or someone with fashion taste, but at least I know how to color coordinate.

Now that I think about it, I feel as though I’ve given you too much credit. There’s so many things wrong with you. For example:

You hog up all the pizza. All of it. Every time someone brings pizza in for Acadec practice, you swoop in and get at least half of one pizza. I guess it’s your thing. Everyone allows it, even Flash. The worst part is how you have nerve to blush and look shy and blame it on your metabolism. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to charm everyone, even me, like that. It shouldn’t be allowed.

You can never not get the last word. You have to reply to all my messages, even a snap I send of my ceiling fan just to keep streaks. When you say goodbye and I respond with a goodbye too, you have to say it again just so you’re the one with the last word. I don’t really get it. 

I learned all this through freshman and sophomore years and because I’m, what you would always say, “observant”. Honestly, "observant" my ass. I'm just smarter than all you fools. Even you know this by now.

You asked me if you could kiss me before you kissed me. It was when we qualified for Nationals sophomore year and we were alone getting soda at a vending machine. It sounds like a total turnoff but it kind of worked. And, that’s wrong. That’s shouldn’t be right. Did you know before you asked to kiss me that I would want you to? 

There’s this weird, weird feeling I feel for you. It’s like that horrible part in a book when the girl likes a guy and he doesn’t like her back and that gut-wrenching heart attack that the author can just exude through words. Maybe it feels that way because it’s the way things ended: over messages with a text saying you don’t like me like that and you’re sorry and blaming it on some weird Liz and hormones conundrum. I had to lamely say that it was okay and it’s alright even though it wasn’t. Not at all. Not even a little bit. 

It was awful. It was horrendous. It was painful. It was surprisingly worse than the pain I felt from my first puppy love with Harry.

No offense, but I’m pretty sure you know how this feels. You’ve crushed on an upperclassman, Liz Allen (who is definitely out of our underclass rating), so it’s not exactly unlikely that you don’t know this feeling. Then again, you got a date with her so probably not. I just wonder if what you’ve ever felt is the same to my extent. I think maybe not. People like you don’t suffer this type of heartbreak that people like me do, and it’s okay this time. I don’t necessarily want to see you with this type of pain anyway. 

Just saying, I know you have a crush on Liz ever since I saw you scramble to get whatever she needs and unable to not watch her during lunch. Creepy, Parker, creepy. The same goes to Ned.

I count myself lucky, now, because I no longer like you. Right now, all the girls are pawing their way for you, which you don’t notice for some reason, because you muscled up over sophomore year. Good job. 

Anyway, I am officially happy to announce that I will be entering junior year without love for you. I don’t love you anymore. Not even a little. Not even a bit.

Love,  
MJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this long and unruly fic. I don't know where this came from but HERE SHE IS.
> 
> I was thinking of making this into multiple chapters, with first chapter being the letters, second being the aftermath of the letters getting exposed, and the third one being Peter's notes to MJ or updated versions of the letters or both. I was going to do that but I don't know just yet if i can and i don't want to make another chapter fic that i cant promise an ending to. Sorry bbs. If I do change my mind and continue writing this and finish two more chapters, I'll change it to 3 chapters.
> 
> I would also like to thank you all for being so understanding while I am going through this time. I'm very sorry that I don't know when I'll update all my other fics. All I know is that you are all so sweet and thoughtful. I love you all<3.


	2. The Loss of Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos. Actual chaos.

Who would have thought that her own mother would back stab her. Back stab was a harsh term to call a simple mistake but to MJ it felt like the ultimate betrayal.

It was careless of her to leave her letter box, black and rectangular and very MJ-like, on her desk. It was even more careless for her to leave her letter box on her desk with the lid off. The most careless part of it all was her to leave her letter box on her desk with the lid off _and_ near her college letters that she told her mother to send the next morning. 

MJ doesn't leave her letters on her desk or even in plain sight, usually. She hides it on her top shelf in her closet in between two worn down Christmas sweaters. Getting it from up there was a hassle so she made it a routine to only peek at the letters when she absolutely and desperately needed to.

She felt the need to after rereading _Pride and Prejudice_.

Opening up the box, she always looked back to make sure no one was watching or could see. It was her secret, out of many, but it was the one secret she treasured the most. She begins reading the letters in a methodical way; starting from the oldest to most recently written.

So, she begins with the letter she made at the end of seventh grade: Harry Osborn.

The letter to Harry made her miss him terribly, especially since the last time he was able to call her she was out getting tea bags and Star Wars wrapping paper for Ned’s birthday present. He left at the end of eighth grade and he never explicitly told her why. Just some bullshit on how it was Osborn men tradition to do so even though his parents didn't force him to. It was clear he wanted to go for some guarded reason and it hurt. They were supposed to begin high school together and he leaves her out of no where with no official reason. 

She doesn't call him for two weeks till she's brought down by a bouquet of yellow sunflowers and a card saying, "MJ. I'm sorry. Just answer my calls." She answers his call the next day.

Over the course of two years, they continuously made an effort to call at least once a week, on Fridays since he was only allowed to use a phone on that day, just to update each other about each other. She slowly heard his voice progress from a slightly squeaky broken record of an eighth grader voice to something deeper and not Harry-like. 

One day, after hearing him say hi and ranting on some drama with his girlfriend who is only identified by the name of Gwen, she picks up her jaw from the floor and actually asks who the hell it was on the phone because Harry does not have that type of voice. Of course he responded with, "It's still me, MJ." And, it still was him. He was still Harry Osborn and Harry Osborn is her childhood best friend.

The second letter she read was the one she made before eighth grade began to John Jameson.

The letter to John made her wish she could get up and leave Midtown and go back and fight for co-pilot position or let someone else pull the reigns; being captain for Acadec was tiring.

Their relationship now solely consists of MJ commenting puns underneath his photos and John dming her on Twitter on something he thought she might like. He comments on her posts sometimes or retweets her tweets occasionally. They FaceTime once when he tells her he’s visiting New York and, when he comes to visit, he spends the day with MJ who tours him around the local stores and astronaut veterans’ houses.

The following letter was the letter she read to remind herself that love is truly, truly blind. The letter she made to Flash Thompson.

Each time she read it she wanted to vomit and cringe. She couldn’t believe she ever felt sad for herself for liking a guy too embarrassed to say he liked her. It was too embarrassing and, honestly, demeaning. 

Luckily, they never talk about what conspired that day. Ever. They still bully each other and sometimes there’s some weird, not sexual but maybe sexual, tension between them. And, yeah, they made out once behind the auditorium before a competition, _but_ it was strictly to get Flash to snap out of his sadness from getting rejected by Cindy. The tension is solely based on their anger at each other all the time and both having no luck with love. 

They’re okay some days and on those days she could understand why she liked him. On those days, he persuades her to watch Candy Jar with him after practice and they sit huddled up in a corner of the Acadec practice room watching it. On those days, they talk about how lame some Acadec teams are and share a pint of rocky road ice cream since they were the only two wise enough on the Acadec team that liked that flavor and, no, it wasn’t romantic; it was strictly economical and it saved money. 

Those days come once in a blue moon.

The letter to Ned was the purest one of all and it really did describe her friendship with him. They’re still going strong, every Legos building session preserved that. 

They argue a lot. The majority of it is due to or about philosophy, Peter, or food flavors; not strictly in that order. They argue mostly on how Peter is or isn’t lame and whether he is or isn’t a serial ditcher or pathological bad liar. 

He comforts her when Harry gets a girlfriend because it stung and she comforts him when Betty gets a boyfriend. She goes to Ned and Peter’s Legos building sessions and they tag along with her to marches and protests. 

MJ and Ned have a special day each month, randomly determined by the Random Integer button on Ned’s calculator because they’re _those_ nerds, where they treat themselves. Slightly costly, but definitely beneficial and effective. 

They don’t let Peter in on their treat themselves day just because it’s a MJ and Ned thing and some things are supposed to stay solely MJ and Ned.

Speaking of Peter, he was the most recent letter that she wrote.

The letter to Peter wasn’t the easiest to read, but it was getting easier to read. 

For a good week after the kiss, things were uncomfortable around each other. They were tip-toeing each other and being especially courteous till Ned had enough and forced them to deal with it. They never did but they both agreed to put it behind them so it wouldn’t hurt their little family, MNP. 

They get back to their friendship, slowly. They make sure to have time apart and not spend too much time together. 

The day she remembers when things truly stopped being weird was when he was coming over to get a hoodie he left behind and she snorts when she sees him at the door looking awkward as hell and says, “Dude. If someone saw us, with no context, this would look like a post breakup belongs pick up.” There was a moment of silence as she saw his stunned face and she almost wanted to take what she said back till he laughed. Good and hearty and a true laugh. They laughed together and everything seemed okay, or at least like it would be okay. 

By the time she’s written the letter and proclaimed her feelings gone, banished, her feelings were actually gone, banished. She started looking at him the way she used to and she no longer paid attention to the random details about him. She no longer wondered if there was a double meaning behind his words or whether Peter would be a potentially good boyfriend. She no longer thought of him when she did Buzzfeed quizzes on whether her crush liked her back or not.

But, if she was going to be completely honest, some days she wanted to mail that letter just to show him that she was absolutely fine. A puzzle of sorts but it made sense. Maybe, just maybe, if he believed MJ was okay, she’d become okay too. She did, eventually, all on her own. But, still, some days like that day hurt a lot. 

She stayed up late the night rereading each letter reminiscing on how it felt to be that deeply in infatuation and was too distracted by said reminiscing and got careless. 

It would be life’s cruelty to make her wish come true and let Peter see her letter.

  


She learns about the letters being gone when she comes home from her trip to University of Pennsylvania for a Model UN competition that took her five days away from home. After finally showering and unpacking immediately, she becomes frantic after seeing her letter box not on her top shelf. She, thankfully, finds her letter box on her desk. Her happiness in finding her letter box was short lived once she realized it was empty. As in, empty of any letters.

Chaos. Actual chaos.

After an hour and thirty minutes entirely spent destroying her room and looking through every crevice and nook and cranny, she calmly starts pacing around in her room thinking about any possible explanation for her letters to not be in her room. 

She sits there stumped for fifteen minutes.

MJ springs up quickly and basically sprints to her mom in the laundry room. “Mom, wait, how many letters did you send?”. 

Her mom shrugs then says, “About fifteen, fourteen maybe. Why?”.

That was basically five letters extra than all the college letters she had to get sent. She felt like puking. “No, uh, no reason.” 

“Well, okay, get some rest. You can’t use your trip as an excuse to not go to school tomorrow,” she gives a knowing smirk to MJ because she always used that excuse, “Goodnight.”

MJ barely remembers saying goodnight before she, in a daze, makes her way back to her room and screams in her pillow. She’s never done that before but that day was a day of firsts. 

The first time she’s ever been completely blind sighted.

  


Weirdly, everything seemed the same.

She decided that she should act the same and let it only be brought up if they even got the letters. Who knows, maybe MJ gracefully and miraculously out the wrong address down although she’s proofread hem at least thirty times. Just maybe, things would be okay and this would all be a nightmare.

Peter and Ned seemed exactly the same. When Peter handed her the green tea she always drinks in the morning, he doesn’t seem to know that MJ made a multi page letter to him. When Ned came to tell her about the Legos session she missed out on, he didn’t seem giddy on knowing how MJ loved him because MJ never verbally proclaims it.

In between classes she expected Flash to scream, “MJ is in love with me!” all over the halls, but each time he sees her he just makes a random joke and she casually gives the middle finger back.

During Acadec practice when Peter, Ned, and Flash were all huddled together and comparing different papers, MJ claims to have felt the strongest mini heart attack till she realized that the papers were spreadsheets, not letters.

When she went home, she had a skip in her step because all things seemed okay. Her little friend family, MND, was stable. Her relationship with Flash stayed the same cruel way. John didn’t text her or notify her about any new mail he’s received. Harry couldn’t notify her even if he did get a letter so she still had time to celebrate.

When she opens her door to her apartment, she hears laughter coming from a man and a woman. She smells chocolate chip cookies and, ironically, her blood pressure drops. Her mother only makes those cookies for a certain boy.

Harry Osborn.

“MJ! You’re home. Look who’s here.” Her mom has her phone out recording MJ till she stops recording after MJ drops her book bag and sees _him_ at the kitchen entry way and says the only word to describe what this means. 

“Shit.”

  


"So, let me get all of this straight," Harry nods, "You received a letter from me about, um, _something_." He nods again and tries not to laugh which makes MJ frown. 

"Yes, MJ. _Something_."

"Hm. Okay. I'm going to pass out again." She lays back down and tries to do some breathing exercise to get her heart rate to calm down. He rolls his eyes at MJ and gives his hand to her as he stands up from his crouching position.

"Come on, Jones." MJ swats his hand and uses that hand to cover her eyes. Laying on the floor was safe. A little bit dusty, but safe. Down here, she could feign ignorance to her current circumstance. Maybe if she closes her eyes for one more minute, she'll open them up and she'll wake up on her bed and this will all be a nightmare.

She peeks through her fingers to see Harry peering at her.

There really was no escape.

With a grunt of pain since falling on hard wood floors can really give the back of one's head some pain, she does a mini sit up and instantly gets hit with a wave of nausea.

"Do you mind getting me a cup of water and an Advil?". She politely asks it but she cant make eye contact with him. It would be too embarrassing.

"Just like we were little, always making me get you things." Just as he's about to leave into the kitchen door, he turns back and says, "Last chance to demand anything else."

"Shut up and get me my damn water," then, after seeing his face after saying that, she adds, "please."

He finally goes in and MJ lets the breathe she had been holding in go. 

What the fuck was she supposed to do? There's no manual on how it is to interact with a person you've loved before who you no longer like and has been gone for two years. There's no manual on what excuse she's supposed to give as to how to explain that letter in a away that doesn't make it seem like she's still in love. 

She's about to look up how to safely escape a fire escape when he come back with her water and Advil. At the same time, the door bell rings.

Harry moves to get the door and MJ doesn't stop him. It's probably her package from Barnes and Nobles or some weird shipment that Ned sends to her house since his mom gets mad at his frequent Amazon shopping. Instead, it was an actual person.

"Yo, MJ." She looks at that direction with slightly scared expression because there's probably some other karma at the front door. "I think that one guy Peter is here." 

Karma really had the time today for MJ.

That makes her get up. She felt a bit of a headrush but she lets that pain fuel her to her run to the door. She shoves him out of the front of the door and peeks through the hole to see Peter looking around the hallway and turning on his phone with a piece of paper in his front pocket. 

She loses color in her face when she notices that little piece of paper seems the exact same crinkled way that her letter to his was.

She looks back at Harry, who has an eyebrow raised and questioning, and makes a decision. Which was the lesser evil? Talk to an old childhood crush and old best friend or current guy who she's trying to get over but more comfortable talking to?

She tells Harry that she'll be right back and to just sit at the sofa for a minute and opens the door to walk out to Peter.

She must have overestimated the space between Peter and the door because the next thing she knows her lips touch his lips. In a romantic movie, this would've been cute and fireworks would explode, but it was real life and Brooklyn. All that happens is that their front teeth bang and they both wince. MJ would never admit it, but she did feel a mini spark. It was probably some electric charge from touching the door knob then Peter's sweater.

Peter looks shocked and she can hear Harry choke on his water behind her. She must have also overestimated the force she used to close the door because the door had a clear opening that let Harry see everything.

In this situation, she felt like things were entirely unfair. She was playing defensive on her own while both got to play offensive and they were winning too much. There was too much loss of luck. it's what she got for never listening to Ned's grandmother's superstitions. 

"Harry, you know Peter, uh, Peter Parker." The two boys wave at each other awkwardly and Peter scratches the back of his neck while Harry tilts his head and sizes up Peter.

She'd later blame her head concussion and the adrenaline in her body and the word vomit in her mouth to cause her to say what she would say at that very moment. 

"Peter is my boyfriend." She grabs onto his hand to show Harry their togetherness and squeezes tightly to give Peter the hint to go along. 

After staring at her with wide eyes for a minute, he responds by putting his arm out her grasp and MJ swears her heart fell to her ass at that second. Nonchalantly, he puts his arm around MJ's shoulder and says, "Babe, I thought we weren't telling anyone till next week."

MJ smiles so widely but it was almost not enough to handle her laughter that was so close to jumping out. At that moment, she was actually thankful Peter was a serial liar.

Harry still has his mouth wide open.

"Well, I think we accidentally showed Harry the truth, honey." MJ smiles up at him, only a little bit since she was slouching on him, and Peter attempts to smile at her so sweetly that it seems toxic. 

"More like _you_ did," he says as he taps MJ's nose.

She wants to cut off that finger but she had an audience. "Look, Harry, we'll be right back." She slowly closes the door and once she does Peter instantly opens his mouth and MJ covers it.

"Look, dweeb, you can yell at me once we get to the lobby. Till then stay quiet and laugh," she whispers all this and begins to laugh. Peter opens his mouth to object till MJ lightly, or so she claims, punches Peter's stomach and he glares at her but begins to laugh.

Once they get on the elevator, Peter stops the laughter and MJ rests her back on the elevator side. "Um, MJ, care to explain?".

"What do you want to know most about?". 

"I think I'm intrigued by the letter you sent me the most."

MJ sighs and rubs her eyes. She finds herself, once again, finding her way to the floor by sliding down to the floor, dramatically would be how Peter would later describe it, and he slides down too. 

"MJ, are you okay? You only rub your eyes when you're stressed." She can tell he genuinely cares in her response by his voice and the way he looks at her. She can barely see his face through her fingers but she could tell that face from a mile away.

She puts her hands away from her face so she can use them to take herself off the ground and gives a hand to him too. He takes it hesitantly and the door opens up to the ground floor. There's an old lady waiting there already and Peter greets her as he exits and she enters with a swift "Hi, Mrs. West" and "Bye, Mrs. West". The lady waves bye back and tells him to have a good day.

Of course he would know the people in her building and she wouldn't. 

Still holding his hand, she leads him to alley way the opposite side from where her place is and starts talking. She can't look at him so she looks at the dumpster, which was free of odor and probably empty, as she talks.

"Whenever I like someone, I write a letter. I don't remember exactly why I decided to do it. It was just a way i could write down my feelings without actually telling anyone." Peter dutifully stays silent and nods along. "As you can tell from my letter, I really liked you freshman and sophomore year and I can promise I don't like you anymore." She crosses her fingers behind her back. 

"Anyway, I hope my letter didn't freak you out too much. I'm sorry it got sent out it was on accident which is too stupid to explain and its already been like five minutes so I should probably hurry this up before Harry gets suspicious. I made a letter for Harry back in the day and I came home today to him in my kitchen. There's a horrendous video of me saying, 'Shit' and passing out when I see him as proof.

"I didn't really get to talk to him since you, thankfully for me, interrupted. I'm sorry I said you're my boyfriend. I don't know how to explain that or why I said that. Maybe it's because seeing him makes all the feeling I felt, and trust me they were strong, come back." Peter's face and demeanor show no reaction. "Maybe it's because of my fear of talking to him about all of this since it's weird he's back and you're easier to talk to, but I don't know." Peter smirks contently and MJ rolls her eyes. "I'm being serious here, dweeb. I know I compliment you once a year and I know you want to storage and savor anytime I'm remotely nice to you, but use that brain of yours to help me out. I don't know what to do."

They both look at the dumpster in front of them till Peter speaks after a minute of silence. "We go with it."

MJ tilts her head and looks at him. She had to have heard him wrong. "Go with what?".

"We pretend to date so you don't have to explain yourself that much and so you don't have to spend that much time with him. And, so our whole interaction upstairs," MJ winces, "doesn't go to waste and make us look like big liars." He purposely left out how they were actual big liars.

"How would this even work out?".

"We'll get into all the details later."

"Can we pull this off?".

"You said it yourself, I'm the best liar. And, you told me you took improv classes. That can help us."

"You remember that?" he nods and she continues anyway, "Peter, I took that class two years ago and I only took one class."

"So? We've spent so many movie nights watching Rom- Coms. This will work."

They both leave out how the two people who fake date always end up together.

"You'd actually go along with this for me?".

"Obviously." MJ still looks apprehensive. "MJ, you have way more to loose if you don't fake date me."

He made a point there.

"Okay. We'll talk this all over on FaceTime, okay?".

"Alright." Peter brings out his hand and MJ looks at it weirdly. "Are you ready to be Peter Parker's fake girlfriend?".

Was she?

She shakes the hand although she wasn't ready. "The better question is; are you ready to be Michelle Jone's fake boyfriend?".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided ya'll were entirely too sweet to not give you at least another chapter. Thanks for reading, commenting, or kudos-giving. You all make me <3 and :,).


	3. The Loss of Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days, Peter is genuinely very sweet.

“You have to promise you won’t fall in love with me.”

“MJ,” Peter rolls his eyes, “We’re _fake_ dating. We’re not on the set of _A Walk to Remember_.” He rolls his eyes till he dramatically stills.

She laughs and shows him her phone that she was using to record him saying that while they were on FaceTime using both their computers.

“Thanks, dweeb. More proof that you like Rom-Coms more than me. Soon enough, I’ll have enough amo that Ned will pay me the twenty he owes me.”

“You guys make a bet out of everything. Why can’t I be a part of one?” Peter whines. “And, don’t say it’s a ‘MJ and Ned thing’ that’s not fair and you know it.”

MJ shrugs as she hits the send button.

“Okay, back to business, dweeb. Let’s plan our fake relationship.”

He sighs. “Whisk me away with your witty contract talk, _mi novia_.”

MJ ends the call.

He calls back two seconds later. “Fine, fine, I’ll stop saying my amazing jokes.”

"Good. I swear, you take Spanish four for one semester and you get bold. Calm down, Parker."

He just laughs and she gives him a middle finger. She doesn't realize she's laughing along with him till she feels pain in her abdominal section due to laughing too hard.

  


Turns out, mail delivery was late that week for all of her fellow classmates and the ones who lived farther away actually got the mail in time.

Ned was the first one to contact her after receiving his letter.

Ned facetimed her after she facetimed Peter and they had a heart to heart on her letter to him. Tears were shed, mostly on Ned's side, but even MJ felt her eyes mist. He promised he wouldn't tell anyone else on what the letter said. He did, however, ask if there was a letter for Peter. He can't stop his arrogant smile when MJ begrudgingly nods. 

She gets a text from John about the letters when she wakes up the next morning. It's plain and simple and MJ would've been slightly offended if she still liked him. All it said was something along the lines of “I have a girlfriend and I had a girlfriend when we went to camp” and “thanks, though. it was a really nice compliment” to “it never would’ve happened before and now” and “but, if you want to send pics, go ahead.” Suffice to say, MJ gives a short text declaring her situation and him canceled. Obviously, Harry got it first. She hadn’t talked to him after the first day incident and it had been painfully silent when she came back to her apartment. It came to a point where they were both silently praying for MJ’s mother to come back soon. 

  


They tell Ned as soon as they see him at the subway stop. Ned drops his morning churro when he sees MJ and Peter holding hands. They only held hands because there were some classmates taking the subway too and they needed it to be as realistic as possible.

Plus, it helped her deal with her drama with Flash.

She doesn’t see or hear from him all of yesterday and, by third period, she felt as though she was pretty safe. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

Flash confronts her about her letter in the library when she’s without Peter or Ned because she went back to get her book bag. She should’ve known Flash would’ve been anticipating her there.

After getting shushed by the librarian and finding a corner, MJ calmly tells Flash when she made that letter and why that doesn’t represent her now. Or, in other terms, she uses the “I’m taken” card.

Flash was puzzled, but he seemed to slowly understand it. He even agreed to never tell anyone about the whole letter situation as long as MJ helps him score a date with the girl of his dreams which he was undecided upon. MJ agreed and they depart ways.

The only thing more odd than Flash keeping his mouth shut was him saying that Peter and her dating was obvious for a couple weeks now.

  


They make it a habit to send each other notes in class. Peter claims it helps make their relationship seem legit but MJ thinks that’s bullshit. He just wants to annoy her any chance he gets and she can’t even fight back because she, ew, needed him.

The notes started off normal.

They were discussing going to this vegan soul food restaurant MJ’s grandpa owned before the period started. Peter was apprehensive on going because he didn’t want to make a fool out of himself and he claims he’s allergic to any and all types of vegetables. 

Their notes went a little like this:

“Don’t be shy all of a sudden. We’ve literally done everything already. I want to go there now.”

“Are you sure? You’re okay with that? I feel like I’m intruding in something personal.”

“Yes, dweeb. Just come over and we can get to it.”

Unfortunately, their notes were rudely snatched by the teacher when the note was mid-reach from Alex to Peter. The teacher was about to read it out loud to the class, but rather decided to wrinkle her nose and hand out detention passes to Peter and MJ.

Suffice to say, word got out pretty quick that Peter and MJ were up to something.

The notes continued. They just continued in other classes. It became a serious contest between the two on who could write the most sickeningly sweet notes to the other. Peter, surprisingly, was currently in the lead which didn’t make sense in MJ’s head since she’s the one who’s spent hours reading romantic books.

He’d start off her day with something sweet: a cup of green tea with a sticky note saying something encouraging and always ending with, “Love, PP”. To others, the ending was cute. She always heard Cindy loudly say, “Aw. Now _that’s_ a man,” while Peter lightly pecked her on the lips. The thing was, it wasn’t cute. MJ knew it was his way of poking fun at MJ’s ending to his letter.

He’d continue it throughout the day. MJ thought she’d get annoyed by now, but, if she were to be honest, she kind of appreciated the effort and the messages. And, she was undoubtedly getting used to his attention.

Some days, Peter is genuinely very sweet. They’re in between the days where they can’t stop laughing at each other’s corniness and the days they both want to rip each other’s head off but instead make out. 

Those days go weirdly. They’ll be fighting in the corner till they see someone approaching and the most appropriate and quickest option of disguise is, which they learned after a week or two, is making out. And, no, they both didn’t enjoy it. It was strictly for fake relationship purposes only. MJ ignored the faint blush and wide grin Peter had after every kiss and Peter would ignore the way MJ looked breathless and confused after every kiss.

The days where they can just be laughing together _and_ seem like they’re in a relationship confused Ned the most. Ned would fake choke himself while asking them why they have to act like that when they’re just hanging out at Five Guys. Peter would say, “Mind your business,” while MJ throws a fry and gives him the middle finger. They both smile at each other because they both think, “What a dumbass,” together. They also know that if Ned saw their linked hands on Peter’s thigh, Ned would actually choke.

Those days, the days where she could believe just for a minute that they were real and that they weren’t pretending, are the days she likes to cherish the most. 

She gets slightly sad thinking of the day they’ll have to end this charade of a relationship because it’s been nice having someone else. She wasn’t necessarily alone before their fake relationship but at least now she feels something with someone.

She hasn’t felt something with someone in quite awhile.

  


MJ grants Flash’s wish by begging Cindy to take a chance on Flash. She only agrees as long as MJ and Peter double date with her and Flash. MJ instinctively and automatically begins to object, but she sees Flash behind the library columns mouthing, “Say yes!”, so she winces and says yes.

Later that day, Flash surprises MJ with rocky road ice cream before practice starts as a thank you. Peter looks at the act suspiciously but MJ just shrugs and takes a spoonful. Flash got two spoons so MJ assumed Flash would be sharing this with her and MJ was in a good mood so she wouldn’t actually push his hand away. 

When she says his name and waves the extra spoon in the air, Flash raises a brow and points to Peter talking to Ned in the corner. She purses her lips but goes with it. The dweeb believed chocolate ice cream was inferior to vanilla ice cream so she’d get this whole pint to herself. 

Surprisingly, Peter takes the spoon and begins eating it. MJ’s own spoon almost drops out of her mouth and her eyes widen. When they finish it all, MJ asks, “I thought you said rocky road tastes like actual road.”

He responds by shrugging and saying, “I don’t remember that. Even if I did, it looks good now so I want it.”

MJ rolls her eyes. “Just because you want something doesn’t mean you get it.” 

She’ll add this as a reason as to why Peter was selfish. But, in all honesty, she wasn’t all too annoyed with him at that moment. Secretly, she thought he still looked cute with a chocolate ice cream stain on his white shirt and something in his teeth. She doesn’t tell him anything about his appearance and let’s Ned do it as punishment for him still looking good no matter what.

  


Peter tells Aunt May that he and MJ are dating during their biweekly spaghetti night. It was a week after their fake dating commenced and May chokes on the meatball that she was midway chewing. 

After deliberate hard slaps on the back from Peter and a gulp of water, May readjusts her glasses and attempts to process it in.

“Just- just make sure to be nice and respectful like you always are. Girls like that and she’ll continue to like you if you stay like that. And, safe. Yeah, be safe.”

That time, Peter chokes.

When Peter is helping May by drying dishes while she washes, May says, “I’m proud of you, you know. I know Ben would be too.” Peter stills his hand on the plate he was about to put on the cupboard above. 

“Not just because you’re an amazing student, Spider-Man, and, now, boyfriend, but because you’re you. You’re smart enough to handle Spidey and high school lives together, you’re nice enough to risk your life for anyone, and you’re brave enough to get the girl you want.” Peter feels May or his back and hug him. She wipes away a tear he didn’t know he had and says, “Aw, it’s okay,” and hugs him tighter. He wishes it was okay. Because, right now, he couldn’t handle hearing all of that if one third of it was built on a lie. 

He just stays quiet and cries a bit harder quietly and lets May hold him.

  


May evidently unofficially meets MJ, girlfriend not just friend, at a book shop. 

They knew about each other slightly. The only way MJ interacted with May was one year ago when she gave her a ride to a protest with Peter and that was it.

MJ thinks that’s why May didn’t recognize her immediately. 

May was looking for a book. A special book, according to Peter. It was a book he wanted to gift his girlfriend because he saw her googling it a few days before and putting it on her Barnes and Nobles wishlist. She was there at the novella section looking for _On Chesil Beach_. According to Peter, MJ was really into Ian McEwan books and autobiographical poetry right now. In May’s eyes, that showed definite taste.

Unfortunately for Peter, May had left her glasses at the apartment and she already took fifteen minutes of commuting so she decided she’d just have to go without her reading glasses anyway.

She finds another girl, tall and concentrated, at the M column of the adult fiction aisle. She can’t make out all her features but she seemed familiar. She just couldn’t put her finger on what it was exactly.

She picks up a book and squints just a bit to read the authors tittle: Malbrooks. 

At that point, MJ was staring at May with a head tilt questioningly.

“Left my glasses at home. I don’t usually put books this close to my face. I swear I’m not smelling them.”

MJ laughs and snorts. “It’d be okay if you were. I’m not judging.” MJ stands up from her squatting position. She peers down at the book May had in her hand with distaste and asks, “Do you need help in finding something?”.

May waves her hand but MJ gives her a pointed look. “Okay, maybe, I do. But, it’s okay I’ll just ask whoever works here. I don’t want to bother you or anything.”

“Naw, it’s all good. I’m at this place every day.”

May’s impressed. This girl must be going to the same school her Peter was at currently. “You’re so sweet. I’m looking for Ian McEwan.”

MJ awes and makes a sound of approval. “I’ve been into him for a couple weeks too.” She then shows her to the books two footsteps to the right where it starts off with _Atonement_ and ends with _On Chesil Beach_.

“Thank you so much. I appreciate it. My nephew is going to love me more for getting him this book.” MJ makes a choking sound that sounded oddly similar to the sound one makes when their holding in their laugh. 

“Pet- Your nephew likes McEwan? “.

“Oh, no. My boy’s too much of a nerd for all this.” MJ nods. “He wants to get one for his girlfriend, but he’s too busy with his internship to stop by at this book shop. He insisted the book be from here because it’s her favorite bookstore. Isn’t that sweet?”.

May can see the noticeable paleness of the girl. “Very, very sweet,” and she adds an awkward laugh and barely audible gulp at the end. “Well, I have to go but it was nice meeting you.” Before May could say thanks or another word, the girl had already left.

  


Peter piles the new book in between her Calculus and Anatomy books. 

She had previously said she wanted to read it once she was done with _A House on Mango Street_ and _A House of My Own: Stories From My Life_ and she had just finished doing so last night.

She asks him about it during third to fourth passing period. All he says is that it was “no big deal” and he just scratched the back of his neck as he awkwardly tried to downplay the gesture.

She drops the subject and she doesn’t ask anymore questions, but she leaves the smirk on her face so it can answer the puzzled look he has on his face.

  


May officially meets MJ, girlfriend not just friend, at a planned dinner at May and Peter’s favorite Thai place. 

The dinner was slightly uncomfortable, to say the least. MJ and May used to be fine, they could say pleasantries and it wouldn’t be weird and they were comfortable around each other. Now, that was gone.

May was smiling wildly at the two, who were holding hands above the table, as they waited for their food. It had been five minutes since they last conversed and she was still smiling. It was slightly scaring MJ.

“Aunt May, you’re too happy.” It made him happy to see her happy so, while he attempted to sound concerned, his smile was almost audible.

May just shakes her head and says, “I mean, can you blame me? Who would have knew that my own boy would grow to find himself a wonderful catch.”

MJ doesn’t know whether she should barf on her plate or smile since that was the first time anyone has ever considered her “a catch”.

She decided to do the later.

“Thank you, Mrs. Parker.” 

May rolls her eyes and says, “Don’t call me that! We know each other and now we are _really_ going to know each other. Call me May.”

“Alright. As long as you call me MJ.” May beams at that response and nods in approval.

The rest of the dinner goes without a single glitch. MJ and May were discussing their favorite Thai soups when MJ declares she had to go to the bathroom since two refills of Thai tea can do that to a person.

May watched as MJ goes into the restroom and once the door closes May says, “I like her, Peter.”

Peter, with a beef sate skewer half way to his mouth, says, “Me too.”

When he’s in midchew, “May says, “Make this one last, okay?”.

He gulps down the last of the meat in preparation for his response. He notices that MJ had just exited the ladies’ bathroom and giving him the middle finger while he says, “It’s what I plan on doing May.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all .. I have literally no excuse this chapter has been in my drafts for weeks now :(( I’m sorry !! 
> 
> I hope you can forgive me and enjoy this hehe <3 You reading, commenting, and/or kudos giving truly warms my lil heart :,) 
> 
> ALSO: I made a twitter. Just for tomdaya tea and awae tea. I don’t know how that mutual stuff goes down so someone help me !! It’s the biggest flop currently so pls help me change that! Follow me @ jstobsessed.


	4. The Loss of Loveliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She finally looks at Harry, who’s mouth is open and aghast and still staring at her and says, “And that, my friend, is what you’ve missed since you’ve been gone.”

“Mom. Stop crying. Everything will be okay.”

Peter looks at MJ hesitantly while holding MJ’s hand in his lap. “It’s okay, Mrs. Jones. I promise.”

She bursts out crying even more.

“Mom, seriously, it’s not _that_ big of a deal.”

MJ’s mom’s head snaps up and she glares at her daughter. “Are you telling me that my pressure for wanting you and Harry,” and Peter winces to stay in character, “caused you to not tell me you and Peter were dating for a month and it’s ‘not a big deal’? No. This is serious. I can’t believe-“. 

She’s been like this for thirty minutes.

“Look, Mom. It’s my fault. I’m the one who didn’t even tell you and who knows what your reaction would’ve been then.”

Her mom reaches for some tissues as she sniffles and says, “I probably would’ve asked you to wait for Harry to return for winter break.” Peter winces.

For context, winter break was in two months.

“Okay. And, now you see my point. I’m happy with Peter and I didn’t want to deal with your nagging about me being Michelle Osborn and burning your wedding scrapbook.”

MJ’s mom had cooled down a bit by then and she says, “I just wish I could’ve known earlier. I would have invited him for dinner or something. I should’ve known you liked him since you were always too smiley after talking to him on the phone,” MJ’s mouth hangs open and Peter looks pleasantly surprised, “and it was obvious that Peter liked you because he seemed to be too happy near you and was always running around doing something MJ-related.” This time, Peter’s mouth is open and MJ smirks. 

Her mom could not have been any more wrong. She must have been pulling these observations out of thin air. They definitely weren’t that corny or obvious. Or, doing any of that.

“We can still schedule something, mom. It’s not like Peter hates you. He'd love to do something with us.” And, Peter would due to contract obligations _and_ because he loves spending time with the Jones.

“Peter,” her mom says, “I’m so sorry for all of this.” Her mom looks sad for a minute till she lights up and quickly looks into her purse nearby.

“Mom. What are you-?”.

“Oscorp dinner gala!”. MJ looks puzzled and doesn’t notice the way Peter pales. “Remember, MJ, the annual gala they have! They always give each of us an extra invite and now we can use yours for Peter.”

MJ looks at Peter, who has a blank stare, and can tell what she should do. “Mom, I’m not going to force-“. Her mom makes a dejected face till Peter interrupts by saying, “No.”

MJ looks at him with an eyebrow raised. “It’s okay. I want to spend time with the people you love, MJ,” and MJ’s Mom swoons. 

“As long as you’re okay with it.” When MJ says it, she actually means it. He didn’t seem too okay with the idea a few minutes ago.

He squeezes her hand and smiles at her, “Yeah, of course I am okay with it. It’s going to be a wonderful night.”

MJ doesn’t believe him but she drops it. She’ll quiz him on it later.

Her mother squeals and talks about how late they are for preparations since it’s in less than two weeks away and how they need their outfits ready.

MJ’s mom leaves to make some calls to some boutiques and MJ uses that time to touch Peter’s forehead. 

“You don't have a fever but you kind of paled on me a couple minutes ago. Are you okay, dweeb? ”

Peter smiles softly and says, “I’m good. Just tired, that’s all.”

MJ knows something else is up, but she doesn’t push it. She got distracted by how comforting his thumb going up and down on her hand was.

  


Grooming Peter to fit right in with the high end corporate societies Harry knew wasn’t part of her plan. For some reason, it was part of Peter’s.

“Seriously, dweeb, it’s not _that_ big of a deal. You just have to wear some suit and I wear a long dress and we eat and then we can call it a wrap.”

She peers at him from her book as she was lying down on his top bunk while he was tying, more like _trying_ , his tie on.

She sees him give off an exasperated sigh and say, “Well, MJ, it is a big deal. At least to me.”

“And why is that?”.

“Nothing.” 

She rolls her eyes and sits up. “You sure? It sounds like something.”

“MJ, just drop it.” His tone seemed to command a doneness into the air but he would be surely mistaken if he thought MJ would let him have the last word.

“Come on, dude, I bet it’s not _that_ bad. Just say it. Out with it dweeb.”

Peter gets rougher and rougher with his grasp with the tie as he stubbornly attempts to fix it to no avail.

_Men and their dramatic antics._

"Look, if you're nervous on seeing your crush there-".

He steely glares at her. "That joke is old. All I said was that she was cute since _you_ forced me to say it." It was true. The new girl Sonoyo did have nice handwriting.

She swiftly hops off the top bunk and flicks his hands away. She can hear him sigh in relief and look at her as she fixes the knot he made. She pretends his stare wasn’t entirely too much for her to handle.

She hears him clear out his voice but she doesn’t look up. She only looks up when he decides to start speaking. 

“I- I just don’t want to embarrass you. It’s clear as the difference between night and day that your mom is on Team Harry.” She thinks she hears him say under his breath, “Everyone is Team harry around here,” but she decides to clear that thought out of her head.

“I don’t want you to be embarrassed of taking me. This was never part of the plan anyway.”

When he said _this_ , all she could think was _Yeah, this shouldn’t be happening. This thing where she starts liking him again shouldn’t be happening. Again._.

She straightens out the crease on his dress shirt and says quietly, “You won’t. You could never embarrass me.”

She takes his wide smile as a hint that he feels more confidence in himself again. 

Too bad she ruined it when she said, “But, seriously, dweeb, just don’t be late. That’s the only thing that will make me embarrassed.”

Or perhaps it was _he_ who had to ruin it since he showed up to the event an hour and ten minutes late.

  


MJ doesn’t get embarrassed easily. In fact, she doesn’t get embarrassed at all.

She does get embarrassed, however, when she sits through the first hour of speeches with a seat right next to her that's unmistakably empty. 

“Hey,” she looks up and sees Harry waving at her with his tie untied and she feels a twinge of adoration. Just a little bit.

“Is this seat taken?”. She rolls her eyes and he laughs in response. “My bad, I didn't mean for it to sound like I was trying to do a pick up line on you.”

She points a finger at him, puts down her apple cider, and says, “Hey, just because Parker isn’t here doesn’t mean I have ‘Single’ on my forehead. Keep your pick ups to yourself or for the girl ogling you from Table Five.”

“Come on, MJ, you know the only girl I’d want to tell pick ups to is you, right?”.

Ever since he’s been back, he’s been either extremely flirty or passive aggressive.

The two boys were giving her whip lash.

Before she could say anything in response, she sees Peter walk in right on time. 

_So now he decides to have perfect time._

“I’m pretty sure my girlfriend doesn’t want any of whatever you’re giving right now. Sorry.” He leans down and gives MJ a kiss on the forehead. She can’t help but close her eyes when he does that, obviously. His cologne was blinding and, if she didn't close her eyes, her eyes would water. She definitely wasn’t the kiss. Gross.

“Hm, I think your girlfriend,” MJ whispers as he’s close to her mouth, “would rather you come earlier and respond to her texts.”

Harry smugly agrees and gives a pointed look. Peter glares at him in return and MJ rolls her eyes at both and of them. The amount of testosterone in the room was nauseating.

“If you two want to have a staring contest or make out, go ahead. I’m going to the restroom.”

She takes the napkin off her lap, dramatically drops it to her seat (because she can and it fits her mood), and holds her chin high as she walks away.

“MJ,” she doesn’t look back, “MJ, come on. Hey, I’m really, really sorry for being late.” Peter was speed walking through the crowd and following her to the restrooms.

“It’s whatever, Peter. It’s not like I told you that the only thing I want is for you come on time.” 

She closes the door to the bathroom and beelines to a stall so she can sit, with the seat down and wiped, down and take a deep breath.

In and out.

In and out.

She had to rationalize this.

Why was she so upset about Peter being late anyway? He’s _always_ late. He was late to receive his own Stark scholarship award so how could she possibly think he would pull through this time?

Maybe because she wanted a sign. Maybe, just maybe, if he came on time to this it would show she's at least _somewhat_ important to him. It could have proved that maybe her feelings weren't one-sided. Maybe they’re shared.

But, then again, maybe she’s delusional.

Not once has he ever given her a thorough hint as to how he likes her. Each time he does something overtly sweet it’s always when they’re pretending. When they’re together, like normal together, he doesn’t act differently. That was also confusing because his boyfriend persona and regular friend persona would mix. It gave her a headache.

She shakes all her jitters off. She’s M-frickin-J. She doesn’t get feelings or sweaty palms or breath caught for anyone. Especially for a dweeb named Peter. 

She stares at herself in the mirror. She needed to stop this once and for all. Harry clearly understood she moved on, or at least thinks she’s not interested in him anymore. That would have to suffice. She couldn’t let this _thing_ go on any longer. It was too much.

With that on her mind and her clutch in her hand, she files out to tell Peter her plans on ending their relationship slowly but surely this week. 

It would have worked if she didn’t drop her clutch at the sight of Spider-Man with his mask half off and climbing out the window.

“What the hell.”

He turns around and, to MJ’s surprise, she knows him.

“Peter?”. He stills.

She could tell that lanky sulk from anywhere. “You’re seriously insufferable.”

She looks at him, he looks at her. His mask is half way off with his hand stuck in the motion of taking of his mask. Seeing MJ ruined the momentum of it all, or so he thought.

“You-You’re Spidey. You’re Spider-fucking-man.” MJ slowly shakes her head as she laughs. He comes closer, just a few inches apart to give her the necessary space.

“Why didn’t you tell me before. Did-did you not trust me or something?".

He shakes his head. “It's complicated.”

She raises a brow. “Then surmise it.”

“I didn’t want you to worry. And, it was safer this way. Those-those bad guys could use you as a pawn in _my_ fight. I don’t want that.”

She almost accepts his explanation till he says, "Plus, I didn't know if you would want to know or care for that info."

She groans. “Dude. I get I'm cooler than you and everything but, obviously, I would want to know this about you. This isn't like you sending me irrelevant memes all the time. This-this is actually important, vital type of stuff. And, I care about you, dipshit, so of course I would want to know.” At that moment, she didn’t want to care from him that much anymore.

Peter gives out an exasperated sigh. “Why do you care? We’re fake dating, MJ. We’re not real.”

 _Okay. Ow._.

He makes a motion to clear up what he said once he sees MJ's face. He thinks, _Maybe MJ is right. Maybe I really should shut up sometimes._ When he opens his mouth to say, "MJ-",, he gets cut off by MJ raising her palm for him to stop.

And he loses his breath.

She lets out a breath so she can speak calmly and not irrationally. “I know that.” She takes one more deep breathe, as her voice shakes ever so slightly, “But, have you ever thought that maybe we were friends? And, that, I don’t know, maybe I care about you?”.

_Or, that maybe I care about you more than a friend should._

She hears him gasp, ever so slightly, and she realizes she might have said that aloud instead of just thought it in her head.

He doesn’t make an attempt to affirm what she says. In fact, he stands there dumbfounded.

She shakes her head as Peter attempts to get closer to her as she backs away to where the hallway begins. “No. You don’t get to treat me like this and act oblivious to how I feel or legit common sense.”

“MJ-.”

“No. Look, this _clearly_ has gone too far and our plan is back firing. We were good friends before and now I’m confused and you’re-.” She looks at him, and he swears he’s never felt more like a stranger to her than before. 

“We need to end this. Now.” Peter shakes his head but MJ stands firm. With a smaller voice, all she says is, “Just, just go do some rescuing. You’re needed over there.”

Peter tries to grasp her elbow, but MJ shakes it off. The last thing he can clearly see is her wiping away a tear and dusting her dress off as she exits the hallway.

  


The rest of the night, to put it in blatant words, sucked ass.

MJ went back to her seat, claimed Peter had a family emergency and had to leave, and had to entertain Flash, who only came because his _family_ was invited, because chatting with Harry right now was clearly not an option.

She ended the night by telling her parents she didn’t feel well and that she wanted to go home. Surprisingly, they let her go home, as long as she took a cab home. 

Halfway to her house, her faithful cab driver pulled over on the insistence that he had to pee which left her unhappily in the back of a basically torn apart seat. Just like any Prince Charming, she sees Spider-Man, live in action, a building across swinging away.

She ruffles in her seat uncomfortably. She was staring too intently at where he was at so when Harry knocked gently on the window from the other side she jumped and knocked her head on the roof of the cab. 

While rubbing her temple, she stretches her hand to let him in. “Not now, Harry. I’m in strict simp mode.”

He gives her a crooked smile that she _should_ be appreciating. It was cute and she’s fell for it countless times in the past. Yet, this time, since it wasn’t from Peter, it didn’t seem as spectacular as before. Not even close.

“I saw you running out and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

She looks back and sees a bored and questionable cab driver behind her’s. “Taking another cab just to follow me? Some might consider that stalkerish.”

“Well, if being a stalker means making the extra effort to make sure you get home safe since you’re too distracted to notice any danger at the state you’re in right now, then sure, call me a stalker.”

She blinks.

“Look, do you want to just share a cab. We can leave the money for your guy at his cup holder. It’ll save you money and, to be honest, I won’t leave till you say yes so my bill is getting higher as we speak.” He gets up and opens the door on his side. He lifts his hand, supposedly inviting her to go along with him.

No thanks.

“Listen, thanks and everything but I just really want to be alone tonight.”

“Come on, M-.”

“Is there any trouble here, civilians?”. They both look in front of them to see Spider-Man casually leaning on the light post near Harry. She had to hold herself back from snorting.

Of course he’d pick right now to come.

“Uh, MJ, you see that thing too, right?”. His voice shakes a bit and he seems to crouch a bit.

At that she genuinely snorts. As if he’d do that if he knew the dweeb inside was Peter.

“Oh. Yeah, I forgot you haven’t been here in the recent years. That’s Spider-Boy-“, she gets interrupted by a choking sound and a insistent, “Actually, it’s _Man_ , Spider- _Man_.” She rolls her eyes and sees Harry is amazed by her nonchalance. 

“Whatever, Spidey,” and she hopes he feels the venom in her voice and she turns to face Harry again, “He’s our local superhero. Cool, right?”.

“Um, yeah, sure.”

“Anyway,” she looks at Peter, she refuses to address him as Spider-Man in her head, and says, “Everything is good here, dude. In fact, this guy and I,” she says as she scoots him out and towards the other cab as she empties a twenty bill onto the cab driver’s seat, “are about to go home. Night, Spidey.”

Just as she was about to close the door to the cab and as the cab driver was starting the ignition, Peter, or rather Spider-Man, opens her cab door side and asks, “Are you sure? I can give you a ride, if-if you want of course.”

“Would you give both me and my friend a ride?”. Harry looks horrified and says something along the lines of, “No, no, MJ it’s fine,” to “Wouldn’t want to interrupt this fine man’s night”. 

“Well, you see, I can only lift one-“.

“Well, _you see_ , I clearly can’t leave my friend alone here. Ta-ta, adios, ciao,” she gives him a peace sign as she says this and, once Peter dumbfounded lets go of the cab door, thus urges the guy to speed away. After hearing Harry mouth "Dude. That was kind of rude," she waves goodbye to the mutant that she refuses to acknowledge and mouthes a sarcastic "Thanks".

She looks back when they’ve almost crossed the street to see him still standing there at the street. She looks back to the front, refusing to acknowledge the staring Harry is doing to her right now, and sighs. Her heart shouldn’t be hurting from seeing _him_ like that.

She finally looks at Harry, who’s mouth is open and aghast and still staring at her and says, “And that, my friend, is what you’ve missed since you’ve been gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHE did ya'll miss me <3?? I am TRULY and VERY MUCH apologetic. PROMISE. My only attempted excuse is that senior year is VERY busy and college apps really are a pain in the ass (just like Flash is). 
> 
> Would like to thank my seven twitter followers and THE best today page on insta for giving me and their thousand followers real tea on T and Z filming SM: FFH!! I love it and you and anyone reading this and anyone commenting and anyone kudos-ing and, hehe, everyone<33


End file.
